The Danger of Comparison

Comparison can be a dangerous thing because often we are limited by our lack of perspective. What we see for the most part is the results. What we don’t see is what went into getting them. We see what we like but we don’t realize or appreciate the time, energy, effort, or sacrifice that went into getting where they are. It’s hard not to be tempted, believe me I know! But the thing is, we’re fooling ourselves if we think it somehow came easier to them. 

I used to justify my situation to myself. I didn’t have the results I wanted because I didn’t have the time, resources, connections, or whatever else I thought I needed to get the results. Yes, it’s true but only to a point. I like to believe we are resourceful beings. Things might not always come quickly or easily but that doesn’t mean they can’t be done. What I’ve started doing in recent years is looking to others for inspiration. When I find myself falling into comparison, I have to take a moment and realize that I’m yearning for the results someone else worked for. Then I do one of two things, I either come up with a plan to get the results I desire in my life or recognize that they put the energy into getting where they are and be happy for them.

When I find myself feeling envious to the point I’m repelled by someone, it’s a gut-check. This isn’t something I feel often anymore but several years ago it happened often. When I wasn’t living life in alignment with myself, working in jobs that weren’t what I was meant to be doing, and I made choices based on what I should do instead of what felt right. When I saw others living in their purpose especially when it was closely aligned with what I was meant to be doing, I felt this inexplicable dislike for them. It’s only been in recent years that I realized that what I was confusing as dislike was really envy of seeing others thrive in what I was too scared to do.

I want to share this with you because I think it’s important. Walking in my purpose didn’t come easy to me. I had to overcome my fear, self-doubt, and take steps towards discovering what my purpose was because I had no idea. All I knew for sure is what I didn’t want to do. So in the beginning I just started to step away from all of the things I was doing that I knew weren’t part of my purpose. I had to come up with a plan and make sacrifices to do it but I did what felt right. Comparison is dangerous when we use it as a way to look down on ourselves, judge ourselves, or feel inferior than others. I think it can also be a powerful way to steer you in the direction of what you should be doing. If you can recognize that hint of jealousy or that unfounded sense of dislike and explore it, you just might be surprised by what you uncover.

Can you relate? Do you ever find yourself comparing or even disliking others you don’t know? If this shed some light on that, let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts. As always, I’m sending lots of love your way!
-Niki Meadows
Former disliker of strangers walking in their purpose turned Women’s Worthiness Coach 

20 Replies to “The Danger of Comparison”

  1. You are talking, to some degree, about calling. There is that thing that we should be doing with our life. All other areas seem, well, meh!
    And you are right, if we are not doing this thing, whatever we are doing makes us miserable. If someone else is doing the thing we ought to be doing, that makes us miserable too.
    You did the right thing. You took your eyes off others and moved into your sphere. Way to go!
    Why am I saying this? it is because I fundamentally agree. I’m doing the same thing. We can only be the best at what we actually are.

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  2. I use to compare myself to others but I noticed I was just stuck in a place and I didn’t look at the fact that those people worked hard to be there. So I stopped and started working on myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s such an incredibly powerful realization! It’s so easy to think they magically got there. The only way to get to where we want is to focus on it and take action. Thank you so much for sharing, wishing you all that you need to support you, sis ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Comparison is something I used to struggle with A LOT. I like how you address that when we compare, we are often only looking at the results. I’m trying to pinpoint why I don’t compare as much (although sometimes I still do). I don’t know. Maybe it is just going for things, like ya said. I can’t sit back and compare if I’m busy working on my own goals.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’s impossible to never fall into comparison again in life but I’ve found that learning not to live there and realizing when I’m there is important. I love it! You can’t waste time comparing when you’re busy building! Thanks for sharing, sis! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you so much. I’m not going to lie, it can be difficult especially with a 5-day posting schedule. What I’ve done for this year is a lot of planning. I’ve come up with a theme for each month so all posts will be on that topic. Then each week I’ve broken that topic down into 4 specific parts that build upon each other. Somehow that’s worked for me and I’m currently in a good spot as far as writing topics. Make time to brainstorm and create, then plan and execute. ❤

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      1. Thanks for your reply Niki! I think I’d struggle to do that because I don’t really have that many assigned topics as such, more just ideas that crop up from time to time about running/gym or something that’s trending or going on, so it’s only really lifestyle or fitness. What kind of topics do you plan for? x

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      2. My blog is a lifestyle blog as well. I focus on topics that come up in my life that I believe are relevant to my readers as well. When I fist started out, I had a 7-day posting schedule. Each day was a topic so I just had to come up with something for that topic. For example, Mondays were about motivation, Thursdays were about gratitude, etc. Now I’m using the method I mentioned where the month of January is overall about the power of our mindset. I broke it down so the 1st week was about new beginnings, the 2nd week was about having a positive mind to live a positive life, the 3rd week was about comparison, and this week is about complaining.

        Mondays and Wednesdays I post a quote. Tuesdays and Thursdays I publish a 500 word post about the topic of the week. Fridays I showcase other women in business.

        I think you just need to find what works for you. The more clear you are about what you want to deliver and creating a plan will make it easier. I always jot down things that come to mind so I can find a way to work in the unexpected inspiration. But I’ve found that planning for it makes it a lot easier to be consistent.

        My blog is purely lifestyle but I did used to write about different topics like wellness and such on my personal blog. It’s your blog, you can do what you want. A broad spectrum of topics falls into a lifestyle and fitness blog. From recipes, to your favorite running shoes, tips, sharing what you struggle with, how you stay motivated to exercise when it’s cold and you don’t want to get out of bed…

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