Comparison can be a dangerous thing because often we are limited by our lack of perspective. What we see for the most part is the results. What we don’t see is what went into getting them. We see what we like but we don’t realize or appreciate the time, energy, effort, or sacrifice that went into getting where they are. It’s hard not to be tempted, believe me I know! But the thing is, we’re fooling ourselves if we think it somehow came easier to them.
I used to justify my situation to myself. I didn’t have the results I wanted because I didn’t have the time, resources, connections, or whatever else I thought I needed to get the results. Yes, it’s true but only to a point. I like to believe we are resourceful beings. Things might not always come quickly or easily but that doesn’t mean they can’t be done. What I’ve started doing in recent years is looking to others for inspiration. When I find myself falling into comparison, I have to take a moment and realize that I’m yearning for the results someone else worked for. Then I do one of two things, I either come up with a plan to get the results I desire in my life or recognize that they put the energy into getting where they are and be happy for them.
When I find myself feeling envious to the point I’m repelled by someone, it’s a gut-check. This isn’t something I feel often anymore but several years ago it happened often. When I wasn’t living life in alignment with myself, working in jobs that weren’t what I was meant to be doing, and I made choices based on what I should do instead of what felt right. When I saw others living in their purpose especially when it was closely aligned with what I was meant to be doing, I felt this inexplicable dislike for them. It’s only been in recent years that I realized that what I was confusing as dislike was really envy of seeing others thrive in what I was too scared to do.
I want to share this with you because I think it’s important. Walking in my purpose didn’t come easy to me. I had to overcome my fear, self-doubt, and take steps towards discovering what my purpose was because I had no idea. All I knew for sure is what I didn’t want to do. So in the beginning I just started to step away from all of the things I was doing that I knew weren’t part of my purpose. I had to come up with a plan and make sacrifices to do it but I did what felt right. Comparison is dangerous when we use it as a way to look down on ourselves, judge ourselves, or feel inferior than others. I think it can also be a powerful way to steer you in the direction of what you should be doing. If you can recognize that hint of jealousy or that unfounded sense of dislike and explore it, you just might be surprised by what you uncover.
Can you relate? Do you ever find yourself comparing or even disliking others you don’t know? If this shed some light on that, let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts. As always, I’m sending lots of love your way!
Former disliker of strangers walking in their purpose turned Women’s Worthiness Coach