Something I’ve gained a better understanding of on my journey of self-love is the difference between deserving and worthiness. I used to feel worthless which in turn made me feel I wasn’t deserving of love. After dedicating the past several years cultivating my self-love, I’ve realized that love isn’t about being deserving at all. By definition, in order to be deserving of something you have to work for it or earn it. Love isn’t something we have to be deserving of it’s something we’re worthy of. It’s our birthright.
Love entails work in the sense that it needs to be cultivated in order for it to grow and thrive but it can’t be bought or earned.
We’re all born with that seed of love within us. In our early lives, it’s cultivated by those around us. As we get older, it’s up to us to tend to that plant. Depending on the environment it was in and the conditions under which it was cared for will determine the state it’s in when it’s time for us to start caring for it on our own. Some might have plants that have matured and grown strong and others might be stunted and weak. While its frail condition at that point might not be due to any fault of our own, it is our responsibility to nurture it if we want it to grow strong and flourish. As time goes on, that love plant will grow fruit. The fruit will drop seeds of love into the lives of others and the quality of those seeds will depend on the health of the plant itself which is why it’s so important that we tend to that source of love within us.
If we yearn for more love, we need to nurture the love within is. If we want a deeper sense of love and connection, we first need to nurture the love within us. If we feel like we don’t measure up, we aren’t good enough, or we’ll take what we can get, it’s time to nurture the love within us. If we feel we have to change in order to be accepted, nurture the love within us. If we feel worthless and alone, we desperately need to nurture the love within us. Today I wanted to encourage you to evaluate the source of love within yourself. It’s the tree by which all of the fruit of love in your life grows. Therefore it impacts the quality of the fruit and seeds of love in your life. If you want to sweeten the fruit or grow the seeds in other relationships, you have to start by nurturing the love within yourself.
Sending lots of love your way,
Former hustler for love turned self-love cultivator & women’s worthiness coach
To support you in nurturing your self-love, I encourage you to sign up to begin the Kindness Practice. A 7-week guided practice of self-love through kindness.