I wanted to take a post to introduce myself. I know this seems silly but hear me out. About half of the people reading this have known me for the person I’ve grown to be over the past two years. The other half have jumped in more recently and don’t really know who I am, where I’ve come from, or why I’m here. So if you’re one of the ones who feel like they know me so well it’d be like catching up with an old friend if we met in real life, please excuse me while I fill others in on the details you may already know.
I started blogging about 2 years ago as a way to rekindle my love for writing. I’d grown up keeping a journal but as I grew up, I found I’d tainted writing by using it as a way to complain. I complained about work, my relationships, and my life in general. I wasn’t happy with my life (or within myself). I was a chronic complainer, had a very negative mindset, and felt incredibly defeated and powerless in my life. This continued for several years, it eventually got to the point where I lost the desire to live. As ashamed as I once was to admit, it took a failed plan to end my life for me to realize it wasn’t that I didn’t want to live, it’s that I didn’t want to live an unfulfilling life anymore.
I didn’t know how or where to find fulfillment but I went in search of it. Unfortunately, I quickly discovered it wasn’t as easy as adding it to my Amazon cart. I started doing some self-reflection and realized there was a lot of work to be done within. I’d spent many years blaming others for the place I was at in my life. I focused more on issues and circumstances that were beyond my control instead of the way I processed, healed, and moved on from them. I saw evidence around me of all of the reasons my life wasn’t good enough. But it wasn’t until I was able to admit I didn’t feel good enough that I was able to start the process of growth which led to change. I’m not going to pretend like I had this beautiful moment of enlightenment. That moment of raw honesty and clarity came after the shock of failing to end my life wore off.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is that I think it’s incredibly important to have these open conversations. I know from experience how dangerous it can be to feel isolated for too long. To feel like no one understands what it’s like to struggle, to feel like no one can understand your struggle. So many people I meet now tell me they can’t believe I ever battled depression. While I’m incredibly grateful for their heartfelt acknowledgment of the progress they see in me, every time I hear that, I make sure to remind myself of where I came from. While I’m forever thankful to have crawled out of my rock bottom, I also remember living there for too long as well as how difficult the climb up was. One of the things I promised myself was that I wasn’t going to forget those who were still there. I didn’t always think I was going to make it out, but if I did, I was coming back to toss a line out to those who were looking for a helping hand.
Honestly, that’s why I started writing. I published daily in hopes that my post would find itself on the screen of someone searching online for reassurance that they weren’t alone. That I could connect with someone through my words who needed to know there was still hope. That my story could give someone the courage to say, “if she did it, maybe I can too”. I’m so grateful for every visitor who finds their way here. I pray every day that my words be used to uplift and encourage those who need it. I set a daily intention to sow a seed of love in the life of each person who reads what I post and who I interact with in comments or emails. I seek to be there for others the way my mom and husband were for me. If there’s one thing I know it’s that we aren’t meant to go through life alone. The support I received was crucial to help me climb out. It can be so hard to move forward when we feel so isolated, disconnected, and less than everyone around us. Which is why feeling connected to someone’s story even a blog written by someone we don’t know is powerful.
I write about things that aren’t trendy or sexy because I know what I was looking for when I was struggling to make it through each day. I don’t mess around or write fluff pieces. I’m intentional and loving in my delivery but very clear on my purpose. I open up the conversation to topics that aren’t always comfortable but are necessary. I share what’s on my heart because even though it’s not content that will go viral, it’s content that might impact someone when they really need it. As wonderful as it is for me to have overcome a long battle with depression and learn to repair the relationship with myself, it wouldn’t do much for others if I didn’t at share what I’ve learned through that experience. Some points were uncomfortable and downright painful. But what I’ve learned through that process has given me a way to support others. So thank you for reading and allowing me to share my experience with you and sow a seed of love.
Sending lots of love your way,
Former rock-bottom dweller turned women’s worthiness coach
One of the ways that I’m so grateful to guide and support others is through the Kindness Practice. It’s a 7-week guided practice I’ve created as a journey of self-love through kindness. If this post resonated with you, I want to extend you a personal invitation to sign up if you’re at a place where you’re ready to build yourself up from within. I’m so honored to support you as you navigate through this portion of your journey.