Back in January, I attended a workshop in L.A. and we were separated into random groups. I met this sweet bubbly woman named Ronda. We sat together during the majority of the workshop that weekend sharing notes and chatting on breaks. We really hit it off and had a lot in common both in our personal and professional lives. I talked to her about this project I’d just started at the time. As I shared the details about wanting to interview women to share their story without the perfectly polished social media front, she told me she’d love to be part of it. I was so excited and we made a mental note to exchange details to keep in touch.
The weekend flew by and she ended up leaving early on the last day without exchanging contact info. I was so bummed because I really looked forward to contacting her! By the time I realized she was gone and not just in another part of the room, I started asking others in our group if they had her details. Unfortunately, none of the handful of people still at the workshop had exchanged details with her. I didn’t worry about it and knew I’d figure something out. By the time I flew home from L.A. the next day, Ronda had found me on Facebook and sent me a message! I was so happy to hear from her, she explained that she had an early flight out the last day as she had to be back in her home state of Wisconsin on Monday. She gave me her contact details so we could get moving on this project. So I’m especially thrilled that everything came together in order for me to be able to introduce you to her today.
Ronda is a licensed mental health therapist as well as certified coach. I have to say that I was really excited about the powerful work she’s doing! You’ll have to check out her contact details at the end of the post though because the purpose of this project is to help you get to know her as a person. Since this month’s topic around here is self-compassion, our interview revolved around it as well. I love the way that Ronda described what self-compassion means to her. She shared that it’s not just about saying kind things to herself but about self-love, self-forgiveness, and self-acceptance. It’s about focusing on what she is instead of what she’s not.
One thing that I asked her about was how she shows herself kindness and compassion in a moment of struggle or where she feels like she doesn’t measure up. She shared that she allows herself to really lean into the feeling instead of trying to change or avoid it. She also told me that she reaches out for help and support. Ronda admitted that asking for support in the heat of the moment is something she struggles with because it makes her feel vulnerable. Even though it’s challenging, she knows how powerful it is and reminds herself how important it is that she follows through despite her discomfort. As the questions carried on, Ronda confided that there are times that she still struggles with feeling like she doesn’t measure up in some areas of her life. She admits that she doesn’t know if that will ever go away but she uses the practices and support she has to help her work through it.
One example she shared when it came to not feeling good enough was about starting her own business. She was excited about it but was also dealing with feeling like she wasn’t good enough. She thought she wasn’t smart enough and had self-doubts and fear including wondering what others would think. She also told me it’s something that comes up for her in her personal life. There are times where she’s overwhelmed and believes that little voice that says she’s not good enough in any area of her life. Not as a wife, mom, friend… She has to recognize she’s in that moment of struggle and not allow herself to believe the thoughts coming from a place of overwhelm. This is something I’m so grateful she shared with me because not only can I relate but I know so many in my community can as well.
At the end of the day, it’s so important to remember we aren’t alone. We aren’t alone in the challenges we face, the things we think in the midst of those challenges, or the way we feel. The reason I’m so determined to share stories from women like Ronda who are courageous enough to talk about the reality of life behind the scenes of social media is that we need to know we aren’t alone. You aren’t the only one struggling or dealing with feelings of not being good enough. Allowing ourselves to feel isolated in our struggle is such a dangerous place to be. Ronda said that,
“in those really tough times when I feel lonely and isolate myself in silent self-judgment, asking someone for help feels like a sign of weakness. Self-compassion isn’t enough to get me out of that place. That’s when I need the love and support of others more than ever!”
I want to thank Ronda not just for her time, but for allowing me to share this with you. Her transparency wasn’t just courageous but inspiring and comforting. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to introduce you to her. More than anything, I just want you to know that no matter what you’re going through, no matter how you feel, no matter what chapter of life you’re in, you’re not alone. Sometimes we just have to remember that to help us build the courage to ask for the help and support we need to get out of that dark place we’re in. Don’t let social media fool you into thinking everyone else is living a perfect happy life and you’re the only one facing challenges, struggles, self-doubt, or fear. I hope you can find the tools you need and build the courage to ask for the support you need. Thanks again Ronda and thank you for reading!
Ronda Stevens is a licensed mental health therapist and certified coach who is doing some particularly powerful work with women who are tired of playing games and going from one failed relationship to the next. If you’re ready to get the support you need to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship, I encourage you to reach out to Ronda to schedule a complimentary 45-minute call.