Why you need to change the question you ask yourself before making choices that impact your life

There’s an interesting quote I came across by Dr. Kristin Neff that says,

“Unlike self-criticism that asks “are you good enough”, self-compassion asks “what’s good for you?”

I read that and found myself thinking back to all of the ways I tried to prove I was good enough both to others and myself. All of the choices that I made not because they were right for me, not because it’s what I wanted for myself, but because I wanted to prove something. On the flip side, there are also so many things I didn’t even try because I believed I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t smart enough, educated enough, experienced enough, brave enough… 

Every day, I practice making the choices that feel right to me. The ones that I know in my bones is the right opportunity even if it scares me. Even if I have self-doubt and fear. Even if I think I’m not ready or not enough. At the end of the day, it all works out. Even if it doesn’t the work out the way I want or plan. As Nelson Mandela says, “I never lose. I either win or learn.” That’s the truth. When I do things even though I don’t think I have what it takes, I remember I’m smarter than I give myself credit for. I prove that sometimes my lack of education is compensated by my level of experience. That I’m brave for just trying.

Instead of letting myself continue through life being limited by that voice of self-criticism that asks if I’m good enough, I’m going with my gut and doing what feels right. I’ve been living this way for the past three years and my life is so different! I’ve done things I never saw myself doing before. I’ve grown in ways I never could have imagined. I’ve learned lessons that have served me well. I’ve surrounded myself with people who challenge their own voice of self-criticism on levels I can only dream of reaching. I’ve done things so far out of my comfort zone, I had to jump just so I didn’t talk myself out of them. No matter how the situations pan out, it’s a win or a lesson every time! So make sure you’re asking yourself the right question. It’s not are you good enough, but is it good for you?

Sending lots of love your way,
Niki Meadows
Formerly limited by not being good enough turned go with my gut pursuer and life coach!

7 Replies to “Why you need to change the question you ask yourself before making choices that impact your life”

    1. Yeah I thought this was interesting. The most recent jump was probably the webinar I was invited to give for an organization. That really stretched me but I knew it was a good thing.


  1. EXCELLENT! “I never lose. I either win or learn.” Now, that’s a real nugget of wisdom from Mandela. Best wishes for continued success, Niki. ::big hugs to my fellow coach::


  2. Oh how many years I’ve spent proving myself rather than being myself. I’ve been done with that for awhile, and like you can see such a difference in outcomes. I love what you said, “it’s a win or a lesson.” That’s such a positive outlook and I’m going to remember that!


Feel free to share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s