He shouldn’t & she will

Yesterday, I shared this image I recently saw on Instagram. I posted it on my Insta stories when I found it and created a poll. I asked my audience if they believed that to be true for the most part. 78% of the people who voted, said yes.

In my personal experience, I’ve found this to be true. In fairness, I didn’t expect my partners to change, so much as be who they showed me they were during the earlier stages of our relationship. In both cases, I left. Granted, the first time around, it took me over 10 years and the second time, he left me I just didn’t go back.

I don’t expect my partner to change and honestly I don’t think it’s fair for me to. I do hope that they’ll grow but fundamentally change who they are? No. I wouldn’t want someone to want or expect me to change in order to be with them. If that’s the case, I’d just rather not be with them. If you can’t love me for who I am, as I am, then it’s just not a fit. I feel the same way when it’s the other way around. The tricky thing is, I want people to be who they show up as from the get go. I have to remember that it takes some people time to show you who they really are. Not that they’re bad, they just only show their good side and you don’t really know what you’re getting into…

So, no. I don’t think he’ll change because at the end of the day change is hard. And that’s when you want to initiate it. It has to come from you. If that’s not the case, then the change will probably be temporary and just enough to make things better for the short term. My hope is that he’ll want to grow and that desire comes from within himself.

As for men not thinking she’ll leave, think again. It might take some time. Probably much longer than it should. But when she’s fed up and had more than enough. When she realizes her worth. When she stands in the power of who she is… watch out because she’ll leave and never go back. So if you have a good thing, do what you have to in order for it to work. Whether it’s growing or showing you value one another. Don’t take each other for granted. Don’t forget that you each deserve the best. And if you’re waiting around for him to change, hunny don’t hold your breath. If he really wanted to, he would have by now. If you don’t think she’ll leave, well don’t be surprised when it finally happens.

6 Replies to “He shouldn’t & she will”

  1. We were having this conversation for weeks at my house. My husband has had 5 heart attacks, bypass, stents, a tumor over Christmas on his hip. For years I have tried to change his eating and health habits all to deaf ears. After this latest scare we decided people change out of Fear or Recognition. He changed finally because he was terrified of dying! Plus his co-workers have been very complimentary about his weight loss and he likes that. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Fear is definitely a great motivator in many cases, especially when mortality is involved. I’m sorry for all that you’ve gone through with the health complications. I hope that he continues to take good care of himself.

      So glad you enjoyed this post, thanks for taking the time to comment and share your story!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Niki, I completely agree with you. Good relationships require both people to show their true selves. Pretending to be so/meone else will lead to heartache. We need to risk showing our true selves. Niki, I hope people will heed your message.


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