I've been getting up early for the past few weeks and dedicating the first hour of the day to myself. I generally start off by journaling. I've been processing a lot of thoughts and feelings since my breakup earlier this year. I've gone through a myriad of emotions and journaling always helps me to process. …
So Jay and his wife open up about their relationship when they were in the dating phase. Jay mentions traditional dating setting us up for failure because it's almost like an interview and I couldn't agree more. His wife talked about most of their dates being them hanging out with her family and how she wouldn't get all dressed up for him.
I don't expect my partner to change and honestly I don't think it's fair for me to. I do hope that they'll grow but fundamentally change who they are? No. I wouldn't want someone to want or expect me to change in order to be with them. If that's the case, I'd just rather not be with them. If you can't love me for who I am, as I am, then it's just not a fit.
Of course there are no absolutes, but do you agree or disagree for the most part? I'll be discussing this tomorrow. Curious to hear your thoughts...
Growing up I NEVER had a desire to get married. In fact, I can vividly recall as a little girl around 8 years old in my bedroom in Germany imagining my life as an adult. I saw myself as a single mom of three, living in a luxury apartment, on my own. I didn't have a husband or partner. I just saw myself working and raising my kids. I felt peace, love, and harmony.
I've always been told that my standards are too high. That I'm too demanding... I started to believe it. Maybe I was. I've been told that I have an idea in my mind of a man who doesn't exist. But then I also realized that my standards are high, but not unrealistic.
I have to admit I'm pretty proud of myself. See, when you're going through a break up, a small part of you wishes you could get back together. Even though I know this is for the best... It's like there's a disconnect between my brain and my heart. My brain logically understands this is the best thing for everyone involved. My heart feels otherwise.
I was overcome with sorrow. I suddenly felt overwhelmed and genuinely bad for myself. I kept thinking, I know that I have what it takes to raise three girls on my own, but I don't want to. This isn't what I signed up for. This isn't how things were supposed to go.
I want to mourn this loss so I can realize that often times, it's the very failure that puts us on the path to success. Because that's what this feels like right now- an epic failure. But I can't dwell on that because even though it wasn't all good it wasn't all bad either. We had some good times together and I can't help but believe we served a purpose in each other's lives (even though it wasn't what either of us thought).
As silly as it sounds, division of household labor is something that has been a struggle. Battling the reality that as a working mom, I can't live up to the expectation of keeping a home the way my stay at home grandmother did as a homemaker. The reality is, I know what comes with running a household but I have no desire to be homemaker hence why I choose to work. I have this silly notion in my head that being in a two income household, that means that the brunt of the household labor shouldn't be on one partner. If that's the case, it's really not much different than being a single work from home mom...